Have you seen 108 degree celsius of steaming oil bellowing out of a fuel pump shooting out at above 20 feet in the air , all in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean? 

It is a divine sight.

It makes you think that you all is doomed. It makes you feel fear knot up in your stomach. It makes you feel that the ship is going to sink, imminently. 

But then , something amazing happens. You start to focus and think that you need to get your ass moving, lest it would become too late. You focus on the first thing at hand. All alone in the Engine Room.  

Training kicks in. Yes. Sound the alarm. Slow down the M/E. Stop the fuel pumps. etc. etc.

Six months later you sign off. Heading back home. 

Imperceptible, but you have changed. Hardened. You have a confidence about you that you can handle things. That you have matured , much more so than your peers. You can handle almost anything. It’s a good feeling.

It cures fear. Fear of uncertainty. Fear of responsibility. Fear of imminent danger.

Shipping. For that, I will always be grateful.